Lone Star Park Opening Night: Not Quite Blown Away

Lone Star Park opened its 15th season last night, with Lydia’s Last Step taking the first step into the Winner’s Circle.

One expects a festival type of atmosphere on opening night; an evening rife with giddy anticipation and optimism during the upcoming weeks. Just the possibility of being the handicapping genius and/or lucky boob that scores a big fat payday on a winning 10-cent superfecta is enough to buoy anyone’s spirits. However, oddly enough, the opening night sizzle never quite materialized. And frankly, I’m unable to pinpoint exactly what element was missing.

Perhaps it was the familiarity of the pre-race ceremonies. Traditionally, a giant Texas flag is unfurled by a large contingent of high school kids, and everybody puts down their beers, listen to God Bless America and gets teary-eyed. However, last night the wind was whipping down the stretch at gusts of 30-40 mph, and do you know what that does to giant unfurled flags? It was a massive waving monster! The kids struggled to maintain their grips, a few of them completely unable to hold onto it. And the only thing I could think of at the time was that I needed to get this on video - if the flag wrested free from the handlers it would blow all the way to New Mexico! That would make for great YouTube!

Or maybe some of the onus goes to the self-serve AmTote kiosks. It’s the first day of live racing and they should be running like a well-oiled machine, but many performed like a rusted-out 1980 Chevette. Touch screens were temperamental and paper jams swallowed up vouchers. The self-serve banks of tote machines are very popular with the bettors at Lone Star but more than one person voiced a little frustration.

Or perhaps hot dog buns should receive a little blame, too. Lone Star Park could sure use buns with some courage. It’s a great source of irritation when a hot dog bun splits into two pieces. My Grand Prairie Dog was placed in a wimpy bun that broke in half immediately and, I’m sorry to say, there is no tidy way to eat a hot dog in a broken bun with mustard and relish and onions dripping all over your hands and you’re a sticky mess by the time you’re done eating and then you have to go to the bathroom to wash up but it’s on your way to the bathroom that you run into the Vice President of the racetrack who recognizes you and sticks out his hand in greeting and you have no choice to shake his hand with your sticky mustard-covered hand.

Perhaps there was some kind of cosmic misalignment in the Premiere Stakes itself. The favorite, Coyote Legend, broke through the gate in a false start; his regular rider, fan favorite Bobby Walker Jr., was notably absent, having broken [fill in bone here]. Coyote Legend didn’t recover from his miscue, and rallied to come in second to Lydia’s Last Step. And I’m sorry – no gelding should be named “Lydia” or any kind of variant or phrase or otherwise. It’s a girl’s name. They should refer to him as “Pete”.

Regardless of tote machine malfunctions and flimsy hot dog buns and boys named “Lydia”, Lone Star Park remains committed to live racing and providing great entertainment for fans. It’s no secret that the racetrack has struggled with ownership problems, but the team is hanging tough. The Lone Star Music Series kicks off tonight with the Randy Rogers Band, and tomorrow is The Nuge himself, Ted Nugent. Additionally, the racetrack now offers two new wagers: The 10-Cent Super Hi-Five and the Fortune 6.

FYI: Last night’s premier 10-Cent Super Hi-Five paid $1,666.65. And it wasn’t me. Maybe that was the missing element?

Lydia's Last Step, winner of the 2011 Premiere Stakes, Lone Star Park. Trainer J.R. Caldwell, jockey Bryan McNeil.

Tune In for the Florida Derby

Sunday is the the much ballyhooed prep for the Derby: The Florida Derby. As I pondered the significance of the race, it gave me pause for reflection - the Kentucky Derby has "My Old Kentucky Home", the Preakness has a rendering of "Maryland, My Maryland", and the Belmont has whatever song that includes the words New York. It is truly a tragedy that the Florida Derby does not enjoy its own noteworthy tune.

But fear not! I have taken it upon myself to pen a song, a rather modest rendition if I may say so, in recognition of the Florida Derby:

All Hail Thee, Oh Gulfstream Park
(sung to the tune of O Tannenbaum. Or any song by Nirvana)

Oh, Gulfstream Park! Oh, Gulfstream Park!
Home of the Florida Derby.
Oh, Gulfstream Park! Oh, Gulfstream Park!
Home of the Florida Derby.
There was Barbaro and then Big Brown,
Tho' Frank Stronach tore the grandstand down
Oh, Gulfstream Park! Oh, Gulfstream Park!
The next race will be at Churchill

Footnote: For tomorrow's race, this lyricist is selecting Dialed In and Soldat, while recklessly wheeling horses in double-digit odds underneath.

Oaklawn Legend

I go out of town for one little week, and look what happens? Casey Abrams very nearly gets sent home from American Idol all because I didn't vote. Luckily, the judges saved him. Speaking of judges, I met Steven Tyler once a long, long time ago. And no, he's not the father of any of my children.

Anyway, last week I trekked to Oaklawn Park in Hot Springs, Arkansas. Last year, as an Oaklawn maiden, I was completely gobsmacked by the racetrack - oozing with rich racing history and a festival-type atmosphere. A return engagement was required. So my only objective on this particular Friday afternoon was to enjoy the ambience, drink a little beer, and make a little money.

As I perused through my 2011 Official Program, I noted an interesting blurb published below the 2nd race's past performances:

Join Terry Wallace for Friday's Seventh Race Stretch

Oaklawn Park's legendary track announcer, Terry Wallace, now has a "meet and greet" following the sixth race on Fridays. If you recall, back in January he ended his record streak of consecutive race calls at 20,191 and enjoyed watching his first race on the apron. Well, apparently after 37 years, he's decided that handing over the microphone and mingling among the railfolk isn't so bad after all and now he does it on a weekly basis.

Legends are not to be ignored, so like a bubble-headed groupie, I hunted him down for a photo op. At first, I went to the wrong place and the only notable individual I could find was a guy working food service. However, I eventually located Terry - just as he was wrapping up his meet-n-greet in the Arkansas Sports Tavern. I requested a photo, drafting Miss Texas Torilla to snap the picture.

"Just pretend I'm some long lost girlfriend," I told Terry.

Unfortunately, there was no time for chit-chat. No opportunity to ask hard-hitting and fact-finding questions, like "What kind of pace can we expect to see in the Rebel?" or "What's up with your prominent display of the Beulah Park Twins' bobbleheads?" or "Do you know if Bob Baffert is going to be in town this weekend because I met him once. And I've met Steven Tyler. And now I've met you. Kinda like a pretty weird trifecta, huh?"

In retrospect, it's a good thing it was time for the 8th race.

Blogger Envy

One of my favorite bloggers, Valerie of Foolish Pleasure, announced that today is her 4th Blogging Anniversary. In true celebratory fashion, she described her evolution from an "ill-informed blowhard" to a knowledgeable and confident horse racing commentator. And as a little anniversary gift for her bevy of loyal followers, she served up a modest list of some of her favorite posts.

Valerie got me to thinking about my own venture into this whole blogging business a few years back. I looked at my first post that read of sharing touts and "tidbits of information" and "occasional picks" a la some kind of handicapping whiz. What a crock!

Let's face it - handicapping and pedigree study and well-formed opinions just takes up too much valuable time, so unlike Valerie, I embraced devolution. It was a whole lot easier [and personally entertaining] to write about plastinates or Bob Baffert Adventures that, frankly, sharing some so-called analysis wasn't fun. So I haven't really learned anything from this blog other than a little grammar improvement and my biggest burning question, "Do I use a dash or a semi-colon?"

However, like Valerie, I'll share my very brief list of personal favorites:

1. John Henry's Irish Wake, October 2007.

Cheers to you, Val, and all the other great bloggers and turf writers and turf writer wannabes that make reading about the Sport of Kings great!

Who Is That Masked Handicapper?

A couple of years ago, I had the joy of experiencing the Fountain of Youth first-hand; basking in the glorious Florida sunshine and watching a collection of talented Derby hopefuls race around Gulfstream's oval. Whatever every happened to Scat Daddy, anyway?

Nowadays, my jobs and kids and band practice and choir practice and 14 weekly loads of laundry and one ill-behaved puppy get in the way of keeping up-to-date with horse racing, much less any kind of horse racing adventure. This year's Fountain of Youth Results Ticker came at an unlikely venue: A Mardi Gras gala.

Saturday evening, as my husband and I arrived at a Mardi Gras party [and benefit for Arts Fifth Avenue, Fort Worth], we were greeted by a congenial masked well-known handicapper / turf writer. And in our brief meeting, as a stream of revelers continued to arrive, I was informed that Soldat had won the Fountain of Youth, "where he controlled a moderate pace and just ran away with it. Meanwhile, help yourself to drinks over at the bar."