It has come to my attention via emails, comments, anonymous notes left on the windshield of my car, and a billboard along Texas State Highway 198 outside of Gun Barrel City, that I made an incorrect and unqualified statement on a recent post, subsequently lending uncertainty to my credibility as a blogger.
Last week, Tote Board Brad vehemently objected to my “unqualified characterization of a martini as a cocktail made with vodka.”
Thus, I feel compelled to document my expertise in light of these allegations so as not to be deemed unscrupulous and misinformed, i.e., a dope. My grandmother lived to be 100, and resided in the Bay Area most of her life. In the last decade or so, she lived in a good, Catholic retirement home. It should be noted that good, Catholic retirement homes are run by good, Catholic nuns who generally do not like to see their good, Catholic residents liquored-up and dancing around with lampshades on their heads. Therefore, Happy Hour consisted of a choice between (a) a glass of wine, (b) one beer, or (c) a spoonful of Milk of Magnesia. However, for my grandmother, this was severely insufficient, thus she would take her walker and toddle across the busy boulevard to a little Chinese restaurant and drink her proper [gin] martinis. She did this for many, many years, until at the age of 98, when after her ‘Tini Time, she crossed the road, fell down, broke her arm and declared, “Hmm. Apparently I’m having some difficulty holding my liquor. I’d better switch to vodka martinis.”
So one can see that by the evidence presented here, although anecdotal and somewhat embellished if not completely made up, clearly provides sound basis regarding a certain libation.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
A Sunshine [Million] Kind of Day
Once in a while, there are so many upsides to a day that one has to reflect that all the stars in alignment, or there is some great cosmic anticipation of the upcoming Year of the Dog. Saturday was one of those days, as most everything was swinging in my direction:
1. It rained.
2. I was running exceptionally late Saturday morning - errands, business, breakfast, jack-knifed eighteen wheelers - and Lone Star Park graciously held my seat (unoccupied) for an hour. Once again, John Records and his wonderful staff at the Post Time Pavilion can receive all my cyber-hugs of gratitude for providing such great service. (Note to Frank Stronach: Give 'em a raise!)
3. One of my 3-year-old fillies I have on my horse watch, Lake Alice, was completely ignored in the Sunshine Million Oaks at Gulfstream. Yes, on paper, she appeared to be somewhat overmatched, especially since she showed little in the Sandpiper Stakes at Tampa Bay Downs. Yet here she was, a Calder stakes winning filly, going off at 70-1 a couple of minutes before post, and subsequently with final odds of 90-1. How could you not dump at least a show wager on that?? And the little chestnut filly ran well from the onset and came in third. Sweet! My first play of the day put a smile on my face. Admittedly, I was smitten with the Dale Roman's trained horse, Joint Effort, who did win the race, but I had keyed in Knights Templar on the win. Joint Effort will be heading to my horse watch though.
4. Another of my highlighted races, the Filly and Mare Turf at Santa Anita also proved to be productive. In my quest to get some value, I had originally pegged Dancing General and Beneficial Bartok as an exacta, but with Dancing General's scratch, I ended up with the favorite, Moscow Burning. Beneficial Bartok is a very solid 5-year-old mare, 2 for 7 at Santa Anita, and I felt that she would certainly hit the board. She didn't let me down.
5. Saturday evening, as I was basking in the glory of having a good day at the track, I noted that my kids had forgotten to eat the leftover chocolate cake from Macaroni Grill, and it is a well-documented fact that their chocolate cake is the best in this quadrant of the galaxy. Thus, I ended the day on another superb note: I ate the cake.
As good as the day went for me, I should state that there were a couple of downsides.
1. Jerry Bailey retired.
2. Fellow horseplayer and local character, Kemper, who quite possibly could be Mike Holmgren's twin separated at birth, had to "leave early". We all know what "leave early" means, however he did receive a nice little $700 Sunshine Millions cooler as a nice parting gift.
1. It rained.
2. I was running exceptionally late Saturday morning - errands, business, breakfast, jack-knifed eighteen wheelers - and Lone Star Park graciously held my seat (unoccupied) for an hour. Once again, John Records and his wonderful staff at the Post Time Pavilion can receive all my cyber-hugs of gratitude for providing such great service. (Note to Frank Stronach: Give 'em a raise!)
3. One of my 3-year-old fillies I have on my horse watch, Lake Alice, was completely ignored in the Sunshine Million Oaks at Gulfstream. Yes, on paper, she appeared to be somewhat overmatched, especially since she showed little in the Sandpiper Stakes at Tampa Bay Downs. Yet here she was, a Calder stakes winning filly, going off at 70-1 a couple of minutes before post, and subsequently with final odds of 90-1. How could you not dump at least a show wager on that?? And the little chestnut filly ran well from the onset and came in third. Sweet! My first play of the day put a smile on my face. Admittedly, I was smitten with the Dale Roman's trained horse, Joint Effort, who did win the race, but I had keyed in Knights Templar on the win. Joint Effort will be heading to my horse watch though.
4. Another of my highlighted races, the Filly and Mare Turf at Santa Anita also proved to be productive. In my quest to get some value, I had originally pegged Dancing General and Beneficial Bartok as an exacta, but with Dancing General's scratch, I ended up with the favorite, Moscow Burning. Beneficial Bartok is a very solid 5-year-old mare, 2 for 7 at Santa Anita, and I felt that she would certainly hit the board. She didn't let me down.
5. Saturday evening, as I was basking in the glory of having a good day at the track, I noted that my kids had forgotten to eat the leftover chocolate cake from Macaroni Grill, and it is a well-documented fact that their chocolate cake is the best in this quadrant of the galaxy. Thus, I ended the day on another superb note: I ate the cake.
As good as the day went for me, I should state that there were a couple of downsides.
1. Jerry Bailey retired.
2. Fellow horseplayer and local character, Kemper, who quite possibly could be Mike Holmgren's twin separated at birth, had to "leave early". We all know what "leave early" means, however he did receive a nice little $700 Sunshine Millions cooler as a nice parting gift.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Oh my, a real Movie Star!
I feel that it has become a matter of utmost importance to break away from my 4-year-old's tea party and quickly tout a particular race.
Today's 7th race at Santa Anita is the Tuzla Handicap, a one mile turf race for fillies and mares. Movie Star (Brz), a 5-year-old Baffert-trained gal will be running; her fourth start in this hemisphere. I had the opportunity to watch, wager, and win on her first North American start at the Meadowlands; she beat Snowdrops in an impressive style in the Navajo Princess. Her subsequent races were at 1 1/8 miles with tougher competition. This horse can certainly benefit from the turn-back in distance.
Of course, there has to be sufficient value. Ticker Tape (GB) will probably be heavily favored, and I suspect that Movie Star will be a well-bet second favorite. The value play may be in an exacta with Patrick Biacone's Paddy's Daisy, a grade 3 winner.
And then there are other dilemmas that must be resolved. Post at 4:10 (PST) would be 6:10 (CST) which would mean that there would be a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old in this household, demanding to be fed and/or allowed to watch 'Arthur'. I contemplate the value of a babysitter. Or perhaps a dash to the track this afternoon to place my wager and check the Results Ticker in the evening. However, it should be noted, that the last time I brought my 4-year-old to the track, she had to bring Chubby Bear with her. If she were good, that would not be an issue, but instead she used the entire duration of our track visit (approximately 8 minutes) to toss Chubby Bear high into the air and shout, "Wheeeeeeee!" It makes for a rather disconcerting sight at the racetrack.
I feel as though I just made a case for getting a nanny. Or a bookie. Or a nanny with bookie qualifications. Or vice versa.
Today's 7th race at Santa Anita is the Tuzla Handicap, a one mile turf race for fillies and mares. Movie Star (Brz), a 5-year-old Baffert-trained gal will be running; her fourth start in this hemisphere. I had the opportunity to watch, wager, and win on her first North American start at the Meadowlands; she beat Snowdrops in an impressive style in the Navajo Princess. Her subsequent races were at 1 1/8 miles with tougher competition. This horse can certainly benefit from the turn-back in distance.
Of course, there has to be sufficient value. Ticker Tape (GB) will probably be heavily favored, and I suspect that Movie Star will be a well-bet second favorite. The value play may be in an exacta with Patrick Biacone's Paddy's Daisy, a grade 3 winner.
And then there are other dilemmas that must be resolved. Post at 4:10 (PST) would be 6:10 (CST) which would mean that there would be a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old in this household, demanding to be fed and/or allowed to watch 'Arthur'. I contemplate the value of a babysitter. Or perhaps a dash to the track this afternoon to place my wager and check the Results Ticker in the evening. However, it should be noted, that the last time I brought my 4-year-old to the track, she had to bring Chubby Bear with her. If she were good, that would not be an issue, but instead she used the entire duration of our track visit (approximately 8 minutes) to toss Chubby Bear high into the air and shout, "Wheeeeeeee!" It makes for a rather disconcerting sight at the racetrack.
I feel as though I just made a case for getting a nanny. Or a bookie. Or a nanny with bookie qualifications. Or vice versa.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Eclipse Awards (hic) Wrap Up
The glitter! The glamour! The gala! The most anticipated red-carpet event to hit HRTV!
Joan Rivers: Oh look! There's the beautiful Suzanne Warren, wearing a original strapless gown by Vera Wang! Absolutely riveting and gorgeous! But ...Oh! What was Saint Liam thinking, wearing such clunky shoes?!?
Melissa: Absolutely. And apparently Ashado likes that style as well. Rather unattractive for such an event as this.
Joan: Hold on! There's Johnny Velazquez! As usual, he looks incredibly handsome but somehow shorter in real life. (Calls out) Hey, Johnny V! Come over here! Can we talk?
John: Hi.
Melissa: So, are you excited about receiving the Eclipse Award for top jockey?
John: Yes. I look forward to winning the Eclipse yet again.
Joan: Let me ask you this ... do you think you look better in pink or fuchsia silks?
And to think that I missed the gala event of the year because I don't have cable. But I should note that Alan did a remarkable job in his coverage of the Eclipse Awards. And there is a nice little slide show of Merv, Larry King, and all sorts of important horse people whooping it up last night, on Bloodhorse.com.
And how do you think Ashado, Lost in the Fog, Smuggler, Saint Liam celebrated? Some hay? Some oats? Old episodes of 'Mr. Ed'?
Or how about a little vodka, perhaps?
I noted an article, posted today in The Blood-horse, about how some horses are allegedly being liquored-up to calm down before they race. The article Officials: Vodka Used as Tonic for Jittery Racehorses by Tom LaMarra says that the Racing Medication and Testing Consortium (RMTC) is authorizing the development of a test for alcohol detection in racehorses.
That's about 1/4 cup of hooch. I've got news for the RMTC: I've got more vodka than that in my nightly martini, and I'm not a 1000 pound horse!
Of course, I should mention that the RMTC is funding this project to the tune of $621,000. And this is where me, as Ms. Science, finds this intriguing. 1 ounce of alcohol requires an hour to clear the human body. Horses are receiving roughly 2 ounces of alcohol about 4 hours prior to racing. Admittedly, I'm no equine scientist, but at post time would it even be detectable? As a depressant, the alcohol would be calming, not performance enhancing, so does this constitute cheating?
And in this day and age, when the NYRA can't stay afloat and handles are down and the naysayers are preaching doom and gloom and the demise of the great sport, where does the RMTC get over a half-million dollars to fund the development of a horse breathalyzer?
And then the biggest question of all: Which do horses prefer, Skyy or Stolichnaya?
Joan Rivers: Oh look! There's the beautiful Suzanne Warren, wearing a original strapless gown by Vera Wang! Absolutely riveting and gorgeous! But ...Oh! What was Saint Liam thinking, wearing such clunky shoes?!?
Melissa: Absolutely. And apparently Ashado likes that style as well. Rather unattractive for such an event as this.
Joan: Hold on! There's Johnny Velazquez! As usual, he looks incredibly handsome but somehow shorter in real life. (Calls out) Hey, Johnny V! Come over here! Can we talk?
John: Hi.
Melissa: So, are you excited about receiving the Eclipse Award for top jockey?
John: Yes. I look forward to winning the Eclipse yet again.
Joan: Let me ask you this ... do you think you look better in pink or fuchsia silks?
And to think that I missed the gala event of the year because I don't have cable. But I should note that Alan did a remarkable job in his coverage of the Eclipse Awards. And there is a nice little slide show of Merv, Larry King, and all sorts of important horse people whooping it up last night, on Bloodhorse.com.
And how do you think Ashado, Lost in the Fog, Smuggler, Saint Liam celebrated? Some hay? Some oats? Old episodes of 'Mr. Ed'?
Or how about a little vodka, perhaps?
I noted an article, posted today in The Blood-horse, about how some horses are allegedly being liquored-up to calm down before they race. The article Officials: Vodka Used as Tonic for Jittery Racehorses by Tom LaMarra says that the Racing Medication and Testing Consortium (RMTC) is authorizing the development of a test for alcohol detection in racehorses.
Waterman ... believed the typical dose is about 60 milliliters, or roughly 12 tablespoons.
That's about 1/4 cup of hooch. I've got news for the RMTC: I've got more vodka than that in my nightly martini, and I'm not a 1000 pound horse!
Of course, I should mention that the RMTC is funding this project to the tune of $621,000. And this is where me, as Ms. Science, finds this intriguing. 1 ounce of alcohol requires an hour to clear the human body. Horses are receiving roughly 2 ounces of alcohol about 4 hours prior to racing. Admittedly, I'm no equine scientist, but at post time would it even be detectable? As a depressant, the alcohol would be calming, not performance enhancing, so does this constitute cheating?
And in this day and age, when the NYRA can't stay afloat and handles are down and the naysayers are preaching doom and gloom and the demise of the great sport, where does the RMTC get over a half-million dollars to fund the development of a horse breathalyzer?
And then the biggest question of all: Which do horses prefer, Skyy or Stolichnaya?
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Not-So-Instant Karma
The Thoroughbred Bloggers Alliance has graciously laid out the Welcome Mat and has included me, a working mother of two who attempts to handicap, analyze, and review horseracing while swapping out discs in her 4-year-old's Viewmaster, into their fold. Patrick, Alan, QQ, Toteboard Brad, Railbird, et.al.: you are all talented and witty. In return, I hope that you and others find some sort of entertainment and/or pertinent information here. Or some relief for any bouts of insomnia.
Thank you, TBA. I'm excited to be part of the group.
Now, let's get to the real excitement. Saturday's action. I had only a couple of races that required my attention, so I didn't saunter over to the track until later in the day. I flipped open my Gulfstream race card 3 minutes before the post of the 7th race. It was a maiden special, a personal favorite of mine. And it was one of those bets that was a no-brainer. Bernie White Shoes had previously come in third by 3/4 lengths to a couple of notable horses, Dixie Swinger and Exclusive Quality (and the notation in the racing form was "lost whip stretch"). Easiest $30 I made. And immediately I'm thinking to myself, "It's going to be a great day."
But good karma can switch on the dime-breakage. And it usually has to do with some cosmic event, such as the guy next to you spills his beer into your lap. Or your hot wings' sauce splatters over your racing form. Or you go to the bathroom and the toilet overflows. Or you run into an old boyfriend. In my own scientific way (and it should be noted, that in real life I am a scientist) I have determined that this "cosmic event" sucks the life out of every subsequent wager placed. Jockeys fall off. Horses break late from the gate. Horses scratch. Exacta bets finish first and third, or second and third. Piles of losers begin to litter the table.
I had greatly anticipated the First Lady Handicap (gr III) at Gulfstream and Trickle of Gold. I felt that the LaBrea Stakes (gr I) in the slop was just an indication that she didn't like those type of track conditions. Or Southern California. But my feelings was that if she got out front, it could be try-and-catch-her situation. I was almost confident. But if there was a horse that could beat her, Smokey Glacken could do it. She had won previously a little off the pace, and if there were too much speed she could win. Smokey Glacken did not let me down and she won soundly. But Trickle of Gold ... well, trickled. The longshots finished out the trifecta. I was disappointed, in a very lady-like manner. The, ahem, gentleman sitting next to me was disappointed in a not-so gentlemanly manner.
But hey! The American Beauty Stakes at Oaklawn had my attention next. And as previsouly touted, True Tails would be sitting big on top of my exacta. Well, True Tails scratched, much to my dismay. Thus my second choice, Josh's Madelyn was pounded down to nothing. At that point, I opted to save my cash and head home. Maybe I would come back to place a wager on Happy Ticket, who would be running at the FG@LaD on Sunday afternoon.
Happy Ticket scratched.
My Sunday afternoon consisted of looking at SpongeBob in the Viewmaster. The good karma has returned.
Thank you, TBA. I'm excited to be part of the group.
Now, let's get to the real excitement. Saturday's action. I had only a couple of races that required my attention, so I didn't saunter over to the track until later in the day. I flipped open my Gulfstream race card 3 minutes before the post of the 7th race. It was a maiden special, a personal favorite of mine. And it was one of those bets that was a no-brainer. Bernie White Shoes had previously come in third by 3/4 lengths to a couple of notable horses, Dixie Swinger and Exclusive Quality (and the notation in the racing form was "lost whip stretch"). Easiest $30 I made. And immediately I'm thinking to myself, "It's going to be a great day."
But good karma can switch on the dime-breakage. And it usually has to do with some cosmic event, such as the guy next to you spills his beer into your lap. Or your hot wings' sauce splatters over your racing form. Or you go to the bathroom and the toilet overflows. Or you run into an old boyfriend. In my own scientific way (and it should be noted, that in real life I am a scientist) I have determined that this "cosmic event" sucks the life out of every subsequent wager placed. Jockeys fall off. Horses break late from the gate. Horses scratch. Exacta bets finish first and third, or second and third. Piles of losers begin to litter the table.
I had greatly anticipated the First Lady Handicap (gr III) at Gulfstream and Trickle of Gold. I felt that the LaBrea Stakes (gr I) in the slop was just an indication that she didn't like those type of track conditions. Or Southern California. But my feelings was that if she got out front, it could be try-and-catch-her situation. I was almost confident. But if there was a horse that could beat her, Smokey Glacken could do it. She had won previously a little off the pace, and if there were too much speed she could win. Smokey Glacken did not let me down and she won soundly. But Trickle of Gold ... well, trickled. The longshots finished out the trifecta. I was disappointed, in a very lady-like manner. The, ahem, gentleman sitting next to me was disappointed in a not-so gentlemanly manner.
But hey! The American Beauty Stakes at Oaklawn had my attention next. And as previsouly touted, True Tails would be sitting big on top of my exacta. Well, True Tails scratched, much to my dismay. Thus my second choice, Josh's Madelyn was pounded down to nothing. At that point, I opted to save my cash and head home. Maybe I would come back to place a wager on Happy Ticket, who would be running at the FG@LaD on Sunday afternoon.
Happy Ticket scratched.
My Sunday afternoon consisted of looking at SpongeBob in the Viewmaster. The good karma has returned.
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