Does Todd Pletcher Have a Stetson Stuffed In the Back of His Closet?

It's hard to believe that it was only a week ago I was enjoying all the wonderful racing at Gulfstream Park Racing & Casino. Excellent comaraderie with John and Pat, and meeting their golfing buddy named Lenny, who by the way owns a couple of bookstores. An exquisite array of food at the buffet at Ten Palms. The number of winning wagers made (many). The number of vodka tonics that I consumed (more). And of course, the number of times Todd Pletcher stood in the Winner's Circle that day (5), capped off with the win of Future-Kentucky-Derby-Contender, Scat Daddy, in the Fountain of Youth (gr. II).

And after this past weekend, Scat Daddy can look forward to meeting all of his other Future-Kentucky-Derby-Contender brethren: Circular Quay, Any Given Saturday, King of the Roxy, Ravel, Cowtown Cat, Rags to Riches, Audacious Chloe, Perfect Forest, some 3-year-old maiden that I have never heard of who will be making his debut next weekend at Gulfstream Park, and Mother Todd Pletcher.

The Kentucky Derby presented by Todd! Pletcher.

I'm sure many of you are looking at your Road To The Roses chess pieces or perhaps your Derby Future Wagers (both pools 1 and 2), thinking to yourself, "I have escaped that clutches of Todd Pletcher! I have Great Hunter!" Others are saying to themselves, "Every single #%&^! horse I have is trained by Todd Pletcher!"

At this writing, there is a very good chance that he is training every thoroughbred that displays a hint of talent in North America along with the second coming of Oujia Board, should she decide to keep her career in racing versus broodmaredom.

This evening, I discussed the phenomenal success of Todd Pletcher with my husband.

Husband: Huh. Todd Pletcher, eh? Didn't he win an Academy Award for One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest?
Me: No. That was Louise Fletcher.

Here in Texas, it's All-Todd-All-The-Time:

Another day of Kentucky Derby preps, another winning day for Texas native Todd Pletcher. [wire reports, Star-Telegram]

The 39-year-old Texas native trains four of the leading contenders for the Triple Crown ... [Gary West, Star-Telegram]

That gives Pletcher six different winners in six Derby preps this season. For a trainer looking for his first Derby win ... Pletcher, a Dallas native, has to feel pretty good about his chances to break through. [AP, Dallas Morning News (motto: We're too cheap to have a real turf writer)]

Todd Pletcher, who arguably has the finest thoroughbreds in the land . .. “I wish I was a good player,” said Pletcher, a 39-year-old Dallas native. “I like playing and it’s a lot of fun ..." [Ed Golden, The Poker Pro Magazine]

You'd think the guy was a descendent from one of the defenders of the Alamo!

Anyway, I know that Dallas native Todd Pletcher came back to Texas a few years ago. He trained some horse named Ashado that won the Breeders' Cup Distaff at Lone Star Park in 2004. And it would be a real treat for Texas racing should he Two-Step his way back to Texas again.

The Fashionable Trainer

Let's face it: Todd Pletcher is the GQ Poster Boy for horse racing. He looks great in a suit when he is standing in the Winner's Circle. He looks suave when we wears a tuxedo as he receives an Eclipse Award. He has great hair - ne'er to be seen windblown. And quite honestly, I have never seen him look anything but impeccably dressed. Admittedly, my relationship with the distinguished trainer is solely based on his presence over simulcast monitors and television screens, and Mrs. Todd or Mother Todd might be the first women to proclaim that he prefers to wear tattered BVDs under his nicely pressed dress slacks.

Last Friday, Todd Pletcher had one horse entered on the entire card at Gulfstream Park Racing & Casino; Perfect Forest (Forestry) running in a 1 mile allowance race for 3-year-olds. And once again, as if he were magnetized to the Winner's Circle, there stood Todd Pletcher.

And now for something completely different - he was not wearing a tie! He had on blue jeans! He wore scruffy boots! And where was his hair??? He was wearing a billed cap, for heaven's sake! It would not have surprised me if he might have had a hole or two in his socks. He looked like a regular un-GQ horse trainer guy.

Regardless of fashion, he's still comfortable having his photo taken in the Winner's Circle.

Plenty of Good Seats are Still Available

To sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment. [Jane Austen, Mansfield Park]

It is unknown by this writer as to whether or not Jane Austen was a fan of horse racing. However, I can say with almost 95% certainty that she probably never went to Gulfstream Park, considering she died in 1817. But that is not important. What is important that even way back then, when racing fans used fancy words like "verdure" when they referred to the turf course, they understood the importance of the simple act of sitting.

A few years ago, Gulfstream Park ownership razed a grandstand that had 224,792 seats and replaced it with a beautiful pristine grandstand that had 6. The lack of seats along the apron, or The Rail as it is titled in the facility guide, usually leads to mild altercations between a number of racing fans - many of whom are in their Golden Years - who want to sit down and enjoy the races. It can be quite disconcerting to the observer to see these older individuals poke each other with their canes in order to score a seat.

Needless to say, Gulfstream Park management addressed this issue. One can speculate that the conversation, and please note that these individuals are fictitious, went something like this:

Louis: Sir, many people have complained that we have little to no free seating available here at Gulfstream Park Racing & Casino.
Frank: What are you talking about? We have plenty of free seats.
Louis: We do?
Frank: Yes. At the slot machines.
Louis: But there are those people out there ... those who come here to actually watch the horse races. And those people would like to be able to sit down.
Frank: Our company has a $400 million deficit. We can't afford to provide free seating for those people.
Louis: I think we can work something out. My cousin, Mort, over in Dania Beach has a couple connections and we should be able to put together some seating in the parking area north of the grandstand.
Frank: Affordable?
Louis: Oh, yeah. And classy, too.






Please be advised to get there early. Handicap access is unavailable. Canes, walkers, and portable oxygen tanks are strongly discouraged. Please note that the bathrooms are not easily accessible and the nearest mutuel clerk is at Calder Race Course.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the races.

Gulfstream Pilgrimage

"That's not a horse track! That's a casino with a strip of dirt around it!"
-Pete Kules, Hampton Inn Hallendale Beach Breakfast Bar, March 2006.

Last year on my sojourn to the new Gulfstream Park, which at that time was merely called Gulfstream Park but is now called Gulfstream Park Racing & Casino, my final conclusion was that Frank Stronach and his cronies decided that Gulfstream Park would no longer be "just a racetrack"; a foundation was laid for a premier Entertainment Destination - something akin to Disneyland for horseplayers.

But ...

Plug in a gazillion slot machines and it is no longer an Entertainment Destination, but rather a Gambling Destination.

Tickets Sports Theatre is gone. No wait ... it actually morphed into Serenata, which according to my official facility guide,

When the sun goes down, Serenata heats up! Come dance to the hottest Latin bands in South Florida that will have you moving all night long. Mojitos are poured minty sweet. Bar tops turn to dance floors. Every night brings an "Arriba" toast with our own Serenata shooter. It's hot here!

Apparently their mojitas were way too sour and because Serenata is closed.

The second simlucast parlor/Stronach piece of innovation, a.k.a, Horse Wizzard Lounge, is gone and I'm pretty sure that it has not been missed.

Other notable [good] changes involved the saddling paddock and the breezeway in the center of the grandstand. Somebody smart decided that it might be a good idea to move the Saddling Paddock out of the 2' x 6' closet it was in and place it outside by the walking ring. Horseplayers and enthusiasts now get the opportunity to observe these magnificent animals and potential retirement fund contributors in the open, by the picturesque setting of the fountain and walking ring. Another [fabulous!] change was the conversion of the bulky information booth/mutuel counter in the breezeway of the grandstand to a bar (hic!). And not only is it a beautiful outside bar conveniently located by the walking ring and the track and the winners circle and the mutuel clerks and the bathrooms, there are large monitors mounted above the Breezeway Bar affording a wonderful Winter-In-Florida luxury of outside simulcast enjoyment.

There had been many changes at the new Gulfstream during the first year. So, straight out of an episode of CSI:Miami, I performed some thorough investigational work.

And according to a very reliable insider (some guy named Matthew whose job was to "count people as they enter the casino" and I know he was official because he was wearing a badge), I was told the following: (1) Horse Wizzard Lounge/Simulcast Parlor on the south side of the grandstand is preparing to open as a second slot casino, (2) Once the Horse-Wizzards-turned-Slots Parlor opens, the mojita-less Serenata will be renovated [again] and become a poker room, and (3) Gulfstream management/marketing/accounting/janitorial staff has opted to discard the idea of "Entertainment Venue" as they cannot compete with the "Entertainment Venue" that is known as "Miami".

As Matthew continued clicking his counter as prospective gamblers entered the casino, I grilled him with other tough questions such as, "Are there any plans regarding simulcast facilites?" (No) and "Do you think a Cosmopolitan is a sissy drink for a guy?" (Yes).

I pondered Matthew's answers. What does this mean? How do all these changes ... the slot machines, poker room, mojita-less Latin dancing on bars-turned-dance floors ... how do they affect me, the horseplayer?

.
Honestly, I don't give two mojitas about slot machines or poker rooms. The satisfactory answer is that there is top-notch racing at a wonderful venue. Great races. Impressive horses. Remarkable trainers (although it is noted that Todd Pletcher has been hogging the spotlight in the winner's circle).

All this ... and I haven't even gotten to the Fountain of Youth, Ten Palms, notable bookstores, and Todd Pletcher in jeans!

And what the heck is a mojita anyway?

Excuse Me, Stormello, But I Think You're Sitting In My Seat

I've been crabby lately. Not that that is unusual for a perimenopausal woman with two small children and whose husband came home last week from work and informed me that I would be hosting a "small cocktail party" for a "few" of his employees and subsequently 67 people show up to this "small cocktail party" and since I am the hostess, I am the last one through the buffet line and there is only 4 green peppers, a handful of onions and something that might have been "beef" left in the fajitas and once I ingest my so-called fajitas I still have to address 16 valentines for my daughter's pre-school Valentine's Day party. No, crabby would not be unusual.

So my husband has determined that I need another Attitude Adjustment Weekend and is sending me off, once again, on the trail that was originally blazened by the likes of Ponce de Leon or Chi Chi Rodriguez or somebody like that, to the Fountain of Youth.

Gulfstream. Prime rib. Nobiz Like Shobiz. John and Pat, if by the grace of God they are still alive. Adore The Gold. Sun. Surf. Bellinis.

So, friends, in the morning I will slap a FedEx shipping label to my backside and head to South Florida.

Ciao!