Texas Racing Receives 90 Day Reprieve

On Tuesday, racing went dark in Texas.

Later in the day, the Jane Nelson-Dan Patrick Legislativepalooza provided a "compromise" to end the brief shutdown:  A 90 day reprieve.

More like a stay of execution.  Remember, this is Texas and we do that crap here, too.

Three months would give Gov. Greg Abbott the opportunity to appoint 3 new members to the Texas Racing Commission, to replace members whose terms have expired.  And, as we know, appointments are generally associated with campaign contributors and the size of their checkbooks.  And the Governor's agenda (read:  No slots).  Support of the Texas horsemen and the entire racing industry being optional characteristics.

It's not inconceivable that the new Texas Racing Commission will be modeled in the vision of Nelson-Patrick-Oklahoma Casinos-Indian Tribes.  And this "new" and "improved" TxRC will be required to meet and re-vote to rescind the initiative on Instant Racing.  If they rescind, then it's dead.  No day in court.  No effort to bolster purses.  It will the lethal injection into the Texas horse industry.

And the Nelson-Patrick-Abbott lobbyists and PAC contributors won't be crying all the while they expand their casinos and create the largest and grandest OTB at Exit 1, Oklahoma.

On the bright side, Lone Star Park is a beautiful venue.  It could always be converted into something more practical and popular, like a gun range.

Dark Days at Texas Racetracks Courtesy of Texas Lawmakers

(Warning:  For the first time, Post Parade gets political)

Grim news out of Austin:  Texas racetracks are dark.

It's no secret that Texas horse racing has its trouble, which, for the most part, stems from the fact that purses are crappy.  The Proud Texas Horsemen - if they haven't bolted to Louisiana or Oklahoma - turned to the Texas Racing Commission to maybe do something other than enjoy the buffet in the Silks Restaurant at Lone Star Park.

So this year, they complied.

A quick hit of history:  In 1987, Texas voters approved the referendum to legalize parimutuel wagering, notably at horse and dog tracks.  To oversee parimutuel wagering, the Texas Racing Commission, or TxRC was created.  And, it should be noted that these folks of the TxRC are not elected officials, but are appointed by the governor.  And, it should be further noted that governors of the past couple administrations have been conservatives, ergo, the TxRC didn't really have to do a whole lot.  Why piss off the governor and lose your place in the buffet line?

Oh, and another history note:  Instant Racing machines did not exist in 1987.

Now let's zoom along to 2014:  The TxRC, listening to the wails and moaning of Texas horsemen, stepped up and offered up assistance.  "Hey!  Our commission was created to oversee parimutuel wagering!  And these Instant Racing electronic devices are, in theory, a form of parimutuel gaming!  Let's approve it and see what happens!"  Hoping for the best - or even a day in court - there were now possibilities to assist the Proud Texas Horsemen.  This called for a celebration by getting back into the buffet line for seconds on prime rib.

The celebration was short lived when the 84th Texas Legislature convened (Motto:  "A gun in every house and a fetus in every uterus").  The TxRC received excessive whipping, especially by Sen. Jane Nelson (R- Flower Mound ... which, ironically, used to be big horse farm country but is now laced with expensive home developments in subdivisions called "Bridlewood" and "Saddle Oaks").  She called the commission "rogue", that they overstepped their authority, and threatened to dissolve and defund the TxRC if they didn't repeal their approval.  Instead of using things the that make America great, i.e., a court of law, Sen Nelson and a few other conservative legislators became the playground bullies.

And here's another note:  The TxRC is a self-funded agency.  Funds are collected through the licenses of tracks, horsemen, parimutuel clerks, etc.  It's not taxpayer money.  The monies collected go to the LBB, or Legislative Budget Boobs, who then return it to the TxRC for funding.  So not only is this group of legislators playground bullies, they're the playground bullies who also took your lunch money.

August 25, 2015:  The Texas Racing Commission stood its ground.  They stood with the Proud Texas Horsemen.  If they repealed their approval of Instant Racing, any challenges in court - along with hopes of bolstering purses and improving Texas racing - would be gone.

Yesterday was the end of the TxRC fiscal year.  Texas lawmakers couldn't get a deal done and as the midnight deadline loomed, the TxRC called for Sam Houston Race Park to close and cease operations at midnight.  Last one out the door, turn off the lights.

Lone Star Park is open this morning, but you cannot place a wager or cash a ticket.  Feel free to pop in to the Bar & Book for broadcasts of baseball, football, cricket etc. and, in the very least, enjoy the Bar part.  That's open for business ... for now, anyways.

As a Texas voter, I for one, am very appalled at the irresponsibility of a handful of lawmakers who, by using bully tactics, shut down an entire industry and affected tens of thousands of jobs and millions of dollars.  Sure, one can question, "Did the Texas Racing Commission overstep its authority?"  Maybe.  Maybe not.  That's depends on if you consider Instant Racing "parimutuel" or not.  And is it considered "expanded gaming".  And I don't believe that is a question that Sen. Nelson and the LBB are in the position to answer.  And any lawmaker that makes good on threats and affects the livelihood of individuals should be troubling.

Hopefully, this a short-lived temporary interruption in horse racing and the lives of all those who work in the industry.  We'll be watching for resolution ... as we sit here in the dark.

American Pharoah: Goah! Goah! Goah!

The last Triple Crown winner was in 1978.  Affirmed.  And his name was spelled correctly.

American Pharoah is attempting to put an end to this dry spell tomorrow in the 147th Belmont Stakes.  He could go down in history as the 12th horse since the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock to win the Triple Crown.  And, as part of the nation-wide celebration, Spell-Checker would be updated.

We've all been inundated  with history, statistics, expert opinions, race scenarios, and static noise of how the odds are against him.  In the past 37 years, 13 other horses won the Derby and the Preakness but not the Belmont.  And this year, I say, American  Pharoah is the one to do it!

FYI:  Last year, I said, "California Chrome is the one!"  I even bought a #Chromies T-shirt to wear Belmont Day ... It conjures up such sad feelings I have not been able to wear it since :-(

FYI:  2012, I jumped on the I'll Have Another Band Wagon, only to fall off immediately when he had to scratch out of the Belmont due to injury.

FYI:  2008, I reluctantly gave into Big Brown.  He was pulled-up and finished last.  I shrugged my shoulders and headed over to the bar to have a beer.

FYI:  2004, the year of my biggest heartbreak ... Smarty Jones.  I will never forget how the roaring cheers were immediately silenced when Birdstone passed him in the stretch. *sniff*  The pain and suffering among the multitude of the fans and believers, the mournful mood of the grandstand ... until one [stupid] voice let out a whoop, "I got it!"  If I recall, dozens of people were prepared to give that dude a swirlie.

The point being, I won't bet against my horse regardless of the historical odds that are against him or the dismal odds on the tote, i.e., 1/5.  I'll stay loyal and true and faithful and excited; a fan of the sport.  History has recorded 11 Triple Crown winners so history indicates there will be a 12th.

And it may be tomorroah.

Rosie and the Rescue Gala

Last Friday night was the 3rd Annual Remember Me Rescue Celebrity Fundraiser and Gala at Lone Star Park.  I am generally not a "gala" type individual as it requires certain expectations, such as actually attending.  However, because I have the uppermost respect and admiration for Donna and Dallas Keen, as well as a lack of excuses, i.e., binge-watching House of Cards, I attended.

There was the usual gala fundraiser fare of silent auction, buffet, and open bar.  And big boon:  Rosie Napravnik as keynote speaker!

Up front, I'm a veteran of attending seminars, symposiums, and conventions.  If there's one thing I know about keynote speakers, they have the preponderance to blather on long enough for one to enjoy one's coffee and dessert, regardless as to whether the keynote speaker is a scientist discussing T-cell receptor gene rearrangement or Leonard Nimoy regaling the audience with his experience of directing Star Trek IV:  The Voyage Home.

Interestingly enough, Rosie's turn as keynote speaker was remarkably brief.  If you took a sip of your coffee and/or blinked, you missed it.  "I came to Lone Star Park in 2010 and won the Lone Star Park Handicap on Redding Colliery.  Remember Me Rescue is a great organization.  They do a great job.  I have my own OTTB.  I love him [or her].  It's important that we support this program.  Thank you."

As my mother used to say, "Just because you're an illustrious jockey with winnings over $13 million, doesn't make you Zig Ziglar!"*

Let's face it:  I was hoping for some insightful, humorous anecdote that I could scoop to share with my [2] readers.  For example, wouldn't it had been cool if she said something along the lines like, "So, there I was a few years ago, riding in my first Kentucky Derby!  Remember that guy?  Pants on Fire!  Super awesome!  Kelly ... er, Kelly Breen, the trainer, is so amazing and so incredible!  What an honor!  Anyway, we're making our way to the paddock, and who do I run into?  Bob Baffert!  Wow!  Talk about your heart pounding! He's a legend!  Well, apparently this legend had been enjoying a few tacos or taquitos, or something like that.  Clearly, there was a trail of salsa that had dribbled down his chin and had left a rather small but conspicuous stain on his shirt.  I didn't think too much at the time.  It was during the post parade ...the crowds and strains of 'My Old Kentucky Home' ... I know that my heart should've been overcome with emotion, but all I could think of was the salsa stain on Bob Baffert's shirt; it looked exactly like the shape of Mickey Mouse ears!  All of a sudden, during the post parade of all places, I had this overwhelming desire to go to DisneyWorld!  The thought was so ludicrous, I wanted to pee in my pants!  Then it came to me:  Pants On Fire.  Pee in pants.  What a crazy dichotomy!"

Wouldn't something like that be way cool?  Oh, but how many jockeys would actually use the words 'conspicuous' or 'dichotomy' in a sentence, anyway?

But a little piece a lore ... a little waxing philosophical ...??  Couldn't hurt.  I'd probably bid up a few extra dollars for that much-desired framed photograph of Nolan Ryan pounding the crap out of Robin Ventura (autographed).

Regardless, it's about the sport - owners, jockeys, trainers, patrons - stepping up to the plate gate to ensure these wonderful beasts have the great aftercare they deserve.

Thank you, Donna and Dallas.

Thank you, Rosie.

Thank you, all you auction bidders.  Even the dude that outbid me ...(enjoy Nolan and Robin).

______________
*Okay, my mother never said that.  But it sounds like something that she would've said.

Escape from the Dust Bowl

A couple of years ago, my kids heckled me into submission: Give up my flimsy flip-phone and get an iPhone!

Needless to say, once iTechnology was in my fat fingers, my computer keyboard idled.  Cobwebs and dirt and dust began to collect.  It became its own biosphere as I became more and more enamored with my iPhone.  Who needs to write a blog when you have Angry Birds, Free Cell, Twitter, Viral Videos, and Grumpy Cat Memes right at your finger tips, 24/7?

But today seems like a good day to dust off the keyboard and exceed the 140 character Twitter limitation because there is much ado:

• Arkansas Derby featuring the scary good American Pharoah
• Texas Rangers Home Opener
• Game of Thrones, Season 5 Premiere

and

• Lone Star Park 19th Spring Thoroughbred Season opens

This evening, Post Parade is off to Lone Star Park to attend Donna Keen's Remember Me Rescue Celebrity Fundraiser and Gala to benefit her retired racehorse program.  Hall of Fame trainer, Jack Van Berg of Alysheba fame will be there and Jockey/Mom-to-be Rosie Napravnik will be the keynote speaker.

And I'll be there, armed with a camera, pen and paper an iPhone.

Lights on Broadway, Texas Champion and OTTB Ambassador, Passes Away

It was a simple tweet:  "RIP Lights on Broadway"

Immediately, I was enveloped with sadness.

It was back in 2008 when Lights on Broadway (Majestic Light), winner of $572,000 in 83 starts; 2001 Texas Horse of the Year and Champion Older Horse/Gelding, was purchased off a crowded slaughter truck for $300.  A pledge drive ensued among the Fans of Barbaro to raise funds to purchase and retire him and subsequently bring him back to Texas.

It was back in 2008 when Lights on Broadway, as an 11-year-old gelding, arrived on a farm just south of Fort Worth.  It was back in 2008 when trainers Donna and Dallas Keen gave him a home, fed him and cared for him; retrained him to have a life after racing.

It was back in 2008 that I ventured to the Keens' farm to see Lights on Broadway.  After our initial meeting, Donna continued to provide updates:  "I swear, I think he's the smartest horse I ever met," and "He knows he's somebody, just by the way he carries himself, perks his ears, and responds to you."

It was Lights on Broadway that inspired and fired-up Donna Keen to start her own horse racing rescue, Remember Me Racehorse Rescue.  Every single horse she has rescued and retrained and adopted out should be eternally grateful (in their own horse-like way) for Lights on Broadway.

His story is a great one:  Good people coming together to make something really good happen. 

My condolences to the Keens, especially Donna,  I know that Lights on Broadway is truly the heart and soul of your rescue organization, and I know he shall continue to be.

Another simple tweet last night says it very eloquently, from @Robinlifeisgood:

"Light will continue to shine on Broadway."

2013 Kentucky Derby Selections and Cramming Session

Derby tomorrow?!? I'm practically still wearing mittens!

When post positions were announced yesterday, I was rather dismayed - I only recognized a handful of names! Golden Soul?? Who's that? Am I truly supposed to recognize a horse who broke his maiden and came in 4th in the Louisiana Derby? And he's in the Kentucky Derby?!?

So, last night was spent reading past performances, reviewing pertinent races, and assembling a Derby Hat with a cost not exceeding $1.23. Eventually, I made my selections. And my hat.  

Goldencents. He wins. He's the fastest. He's consistent. He broke his maiden at first asking and went on to win and/or hit the board in nothing but graded stakes races. The ONLY thing that would persuade me from betting against Goldencents is Doug O'Neill; purely superstitious reasoning of the probability of a trainer winning back-to-back Derbies.

Todd Pletcher has a handful of horses in the starting gate and a couple of them have my attention. The undefeated Verrazano was installed as the second favorite behind Orb, which seems a little disrespectful. He's won. And won. And won. And won. Does he even know what the backside of another horse even looks like? Excellent trainer/jockey combo. The only negative rumors I hear is that his pedigree screams "Anything but 1 1/4 miles! Gimme a mile!" However, his dam is out of Giant's Causeway which may provide distance.

 But Pletcher has a few more entries, and Revolutionary is noteworthy. He's won his last 3 races, has lovely pedigree, and Calvin Borel. 'Nuff said.

A couple of other horses that I'm throwing in the fray to inflate exotics are Frac Daddy and Will Take Charge. Frac Daddy has thrown his shares of clunkers, but he came on strong in the Arkansas Derby to get up late to finish 2nd, and he's a "horse for the course"; clearly he loves Churchill Downs. As for Will Take Charge, he's another who's had his fair share of disagreeable races, however he won the Rebel, maneuvering through traffic (and, of course, there will be plenty of traffic tomorrow). Plus: Trainer D. Wayne Lukas; pedigree. Plus/minus: Jockey Jon Court. Minus: Rain.

Good Luck and Win Big!

We Love Graphs!

Dollar Day at Lone Star Park:  April 20 ,2013.

Look at your calendar, silly, it's the day after tomorrow.  No, not the silly movie, silly!

According to Lone Star Park's Facebook site, a not-so-scientific poll was conducted regarding one's favorite thing about Dollar Day at the racetrack.  And what scientist, statistician, brewmeister, or  beer-swilling-horseplayer doesn't break into a big, dumb grin when presented with this graph:

(Okay, horse racing purists ... there is no selection for "a Grade 1 stakes 1¹⁄₁₆ miles turf race, for fillies and mares, 3-year-olds and upwards, and a purse of $500,000).

If one can remember, the Dollar Beer has been a trifle gauche.  Last year, the racetrack partnered with Lone Star Beer.  Now, I'm not an individual that would blasphemy any product attached with the language "Lone Star".  However, with Lone Star Beer, I shall make an exception.  Even for a dollar, it's not an attractive beverage!  So this year, according to LSP Facebook page, it appears that we have a new friend for Dollar Day:

Live racing and events are sponsored by our good friends at Miller Lite!

Bring plentiful $1!!

LSP: Opening Weekend Antics

Lone Star Park opened its 17th season of Spring Thoroughbred racing this past weekend.  Perfect weather.  Tasty margaritas.  Big crowds. [Fill in the blank] racing.  [Fill in the blank] handle.  [Fill in the blank] success.

An unusual observation:  Information from Lone Star Park is not forthcoming.  It could be because (a) local newspapers are not in the business of publishing information about anything "not Tony Romo", or (2) Drew Shubeck is busy playing Sudoku.

Regardless, I spent most of the weekend at the track, watching/betting the races and trading observations with the rail-folk.  I don't have the attendance figures nearby (next to my martini ...) but I estimate there must've been something like 254,487,993 over the weekend, give or take a few million.  My not so-scientific estimate is based solely on the line to my favorite margarita bar in the grandstand.  The line was obscenely long ... for a mild (78 F) North Texas Day.

For those of you unable to comprehend my logic estimation, I shall illustrate it in easy-to-understand gridiron fashion:

 Of note, X is either (1) a child, (2) a pregnant and/or nursing mother, (3) a Baptist incognito, or (4) an ant.

It was a lovely weekend in North Texas and people showed up for concerts and for racing.  Details may or may not be forthcoming about silly things, like handle and what-not.  Okay, truth be told, I don't care about the Randy Rogers Band or Gary Allan or any other "Red Dirt Band" they book to increase the gate and pack the apron.  I'm an old [Fill in the blank] that wants to make some fun bets and check my handicapping prowess and maybe come home with a couple extra bucks.  However, when the 2nd race on a Friday night is a 5 1/2 furlong $7500 maiden claiming affair with a whole whopping 6 entries - ICK!!  Yeah, I would a prefer a concert, too!

Anyway, the gate must've been good, handle [Fill in the blank].  Premiere Stakes winner, Triumph and Song (jockey Jamie Theriot),

Triumph and Song (Credit Reed Palmer Photography)

Saturday's JEH Stallion Stakes winner, the beautiful Lasting Bubbles (jockey Lindey Wade),

Lasting Bubbles (Credit ... Reed Palmer Photography)

And, of course, an Original Butt Sketch .. that's my Alice. 

And yes, she's wearing a tail ... because she's a little kid and she can!

We're On Our Feet! Opening Night at Lone Star Park!

Dateline:  Opening Night, 2013 Spring Thoroughbred Meet, Lone Star Park, Grand Prairie, Texas

Rumors have been circulating for awhile ... updated Silks dining, new racing surface, a state-of-the-art infield jumbo-tron that's capable of bringing tears to your eyes.  Changes!  Improvements!  A return to the original (and correct!) color of frozen margarita!

One glance - it's love at first sight!

The infield tote board and its accompanying brand-spanking-new 17 x 60 foot video screen is a monument to every techno-geek and couch potato everywhere.  The jumbo Jumbotron - or the Dak RT, as I was corrected earlier this evening - has the ability to show two video feeds at the same time.  For each live race, we're treated to a head-on view and a pan view.

Dak RT:  First winner of the evening!  Additionally, they should name a drink for it, too.

"I'll have a Dak RT!"  

 Sounds pretty good, huh?

Another change:  All the apron box seating is gone.  Personally, I like having a a wide open apron; perfect for milling around and pushing oneself up into a myriad of people along the rail.  The seats worked well as reserved seating at the 2004 Breeders' Cup in October.  But let's face it, in June and July in North Texas, when it's like 218 F, you can't sit on those hot tamales on racing days!  Talk about Butt Burn!  Ouch!  Instead, there is a smattering of new picnic tables adorning the prime real estate by the rail.  And probably quite moveable; get them out of the way for their collections of concerts when the apron is packed with 428,334 Randy Rogers Band fans [Friday night].

However, more than one person grumbled about the lack of free outdoor seating.  I mean, everybody needs some place to set down their beer and/or nachos to look at their racing program.  So, as a concerned racing citizen, we need to launch a campaign for said individuals:

BYOSeat

Those little fold-up camping chairs are dirt cheap.  So to my rail-folk compadres:  Keep a camping chair handy in the trunk of you car.  Much like you would an umbrella.  Or spare tire.

Outdoor seating:  Still schooling in the gate.

And yes, there was a horse race or two.  The first race of the card - nay, the season - in the $50,000 Premiere Stakes.  Triumph and Song, a 4-year-old gelding trained by local-boy-done-good Bret Calhoun, won his first stakes race easily under jockey Jamie Theriot.  I even won a couple of bucks, which I plan to put towards my camping chair.  Or beer.

Horse racing:  Win! Place! Show!

2012 Breeders' Cup Selections

Once again, it's that time of year where we ignore demanding spouses, dirty laundry, and needy children all for horse racing glory. Yes, it's the Breeders' Cup World Championships! And no Breeders' Cup could ever be complete without Post Parade's Sixth Annual Magic Beer Bottle Breeders' Cup Selections.

This year, we honor our East Coast horse racing brethren/hurricane survivors. We're serving up Brooklyn Lager, a pleasant little brew. We love you NY, NJ, et. al.!! You're in our thoughts and prayers!

As you may or may not be familiar with our long-standing tradition, let me remind you of the rules: I handicap, the bottle spins. I've had my fair share of winners over the years, however the Magic Beer Bottle should never be discounted, notable wins being Stephanie's Kitten and Amazombie last year.

2012 Breeders’ Cup Selections




	Sue	Magic Beer Bottle
Juvenile Sprint	Super Ninety Nine	Hightail
Marathon	Commander	Worth Repeating
Juvenile Fillies Turf	Kitten's Point	Waterway Run
Juvenile Fillies	Executiveprivilege	Kauai Katie
Filly & Mare Turf	Marketing Mix	Nereid
Ladies Classic	Awesome Feather	Royal Delta
Juvenile Turf	Dry Summer	Artigiano
Filly & Mare Sprint	Groupie Doll	Strike the Moon
Dirt Mile	Rail Trip	Emcee
Turf Sprint	California Flag	California Flag
Juvenile	Speak Logistics	Fortify
Turf	Shareta (Ire)	Little Mike
Sprint	Coil	Trinniberg
Mile	Excelebration (Ire)	Obviously (Ire)
Classic	Game On Dude	Pool Play

Admittedly, I'm somewhat uninspired with both the Marathon and the Sprint. There's a strong possibility that if I even elect to wager on those races, I may opt for some imaginative combination of various family birthdays tossed into a 50-cent trifecta box and hope for the best. Those assorted numbers include but are not limited to 1,2,5,8,9,10.

Have a great Breeders' Cup weekend! Good luck!

OMG!! BC Next Week?? How Can This B!! :0

Holy Guacamole! The Breeders' Cup is next week! Whoo-hooo!! Dig the loose change out of the couch because there is some serious betting action to beholden! BTW, who's entered ?!?!?

(1) Game On Dude
(2) I'll Have Another (Sayonora)
(3) Frankel
(4) Hanson
(5) Wise Dan (just guessing he's on an entry in some event ...)

 Ummm .... uh-oh ... Trouble. Fortunately, for the horse racing fans/bettors that have had their attention diverted*, Lone Star Park will be hosting its annual Breeders' Cup Preview Party, featuring our good friend, Gary West; track announcer, John Lies; Expert Handicapper and Mr. Congeniality, Rick Lee; and local favorite sports-talk guru, Norm Hitzges. The first 200 in attendance will receive a free Breeders' Cup Advance Edition and the handicapping solution to next week's races! I will be in attendance, as it appears this year the Magic Beer Bottle could very well have the upper hand!

 _________________________

*Possess freshman in high school marching band; whole "Friday Night Lights" stuff that consumed an entire chapter in James Michener's novel, Texas, as well as a much ballyhooed TV series, is real. Scary. Forgot where racetrack is located.  Forgot how to place wager.  Not sure what a horse even looks like anymore.  BUT ... I'm proficient at serving nachos in a concession stand!

;-)

Olympic Equestrian Observations

Last week, I called my big sister in Wisconsin to wish her a happy birthday and to inform her that, due to my overwhelming schedule of summer activities with work and kids, I had not found the time to mail her birthday present, which of course, was a lie because, in fact, I had consumed her birthday present long ago and just hadn't had the opportunity to dash back to the liquor store and purchase an appropriate replacement.  Anyway, between my off-key rendition of "Happy Birthday" and my myriad of excuses, she pointedly observed, "Hey!  You haven't written jack-squat in ages, you lazy bum!"

Well, sadly enough, horse racing inspiration runs shallow this time of the year.  Saratoga and Del Mar are inconveniently located 1,671 and 1,356 miles away respectfully.  Simulcasting is nearby, but getting into my car on these mercilessly hot summer days is like stepping into an Easy Bake Oven.  And the "players" are constantly changing - injuries and retirements in the midst of a swirling whirlwind of new and upcoming 2-year-olds - that it just becomes easier to spend my free time lounging in the pool and/or scouring eBay for deals.

But the biggest distraction/excuse/preoccupation is the London 2012 Summer Olympics.

So, in honor of Horse Sports of the XXX Olympiad, I shall present a brief review of horse happenings in London, which is, in fact 4,777 miles away.

Zara Phillips, aboard Toytown, takes part in the Olympic torch relay:

First thought:  (snort) Guess how she got the job??
Actually, the Queen's granddaughter is a world equestrian champion.  Additionally, it was aboard Toytown when she won the the 2006 Eventing World Championships.  And to prove her world class equestrian prowess, she's part of Team GB that won the silver medal in the equestrian team event.  Okay, maybe they would've won the gold if not for the fact that Zara and her horse, High Kingdom, clipped a fence.  Ups-a-daisy ...

In the You-re Never Too Old to Live Your Olympic Dreams, Hiroshi Hoketsu, 71, is the oldest competitor at the 2012 Olympics.  He didn't exactly light up the leader board in the Grand Prix individual, but he earned a respectable 68.739 percent.  He hasn't ruled out Rio 2016 but his dressage partner, 1997 German-bred chestnut mare Whisper, is "too old" and will be retired.

And finally, even in the international spectacle of the Olympics, nobody is safe from American politicians.  As I'm sure you are keenly aware, Ann Romney, wife of Presidential Wannabe, Mitt Romney, is a co-owner of Rafalca.  Although Rafalca failed to advance in dressage, she is still under consideration as a potential vice presidential running mate.

_____________________________________

Happy Birthday, Sis!  Your gift is on the way ... soon!

Meet Concludes With Remix of the Same Song

Sunday evening, Lone Star Park concluded its 2012 Spring Thoroughbred Meet and Musical Extravaganza Spectacular. And judging from the final numbers - average daily handle down 7% with a 4% decrease in attendance - racing wasn't exactly rockin' anybody.  Fortunately, Lone Star Park President and General Manager, Drew Shubeck, was able to use one of his ol' reliable quotes,

"We're disappointed with the results."

In addition to the 7% live handle decline, the off-track, export handle took a solid hit: down 12%.

Here, I'll just go ahead and insert a fitting Drew Shubeck quote from last year,

“We continue to be disappointed in the simulcast out number. This decline is a signal that the national simulcast customer is telling us they are not interested in our product offering.”

Notably, the 2012 simulcast-in handle increased 2.2%.  Apparently, even the local bettor wasn't too interested in Lone Star's product offering!

Of course, there's the usual reason for lack-luster fields and handle declines:  Slots.  And, coincidentally, there's a Drew Shubeck quote for that!

"A lot of tracks like us that don't have the benefits of slot machines struggle to be competitive."

Slots. VLTs. Racinos. Expanded gaming.  Whatever verbiage you want to use, slots have been proclaimed the cure-all for horse racing's woes.  Bolster the purses from monies generated by one-arm bandits and all the good horses will want to come and everybody will bet.  Well, this is Texas.  I assure you, if Texas politicians don't give a crap about education or providing health care for the poor, they certainly won't give a crap about the horse racing industry.

Moving right along ...

There were a couple of so-called "bright" spots to the season.  The Lone Star Music Series was popular entertainment event, representing 33% of total attendance.  Of course, as I previously observed, there is not a direct proportion between concert attendance and increased live handle.  But hey, if the gate brings in the funds to pay the light bills, then maybe it's not such a bad thing.  Toss in the fact that people purchased and consumed copious amounts of beer at $5.75 each, the racetrack probably made a ton of money at the concerts.

Other "bright" spots:  Nates Mineshaft ships in, easily wins the Lone Star Park Handicap (gr. 3), and is crowned Horse of the Meeting without so much as breaking a sweat; a Texas' favorite, Clarence Scharbauer Jr's Coyote Legend runs in the Assault Stakes for third year and posts a second victory; jockey Cliff Berry becomes Lone Star's all-time leading rider and adds his fifth riding title, all before he receives his AARP membership next month; Danny Pish notches his first training title at Lone Star Park; the popular Bar & Book and its wide selection of draft beers.

Without a doubt, Lone Star Park and its owner Global Gaming Solutions certainly have their work cut out for them.  Naturally, there's a Drew Shubeck quote for that, too.

"We are very optimistic about our upcoming off-season simulcasting in our Bar & Book"

The Most Pitiful Belmont Recap Ever

Last Saturday, of course, was the Belmont Stakes. The final jewel in the coveted Triple Crown. And we all know the drama that unfolded: I'll Have Another scratched and retired; Union Rags squeaking along the rail, edging out Paytner in a thrilling win; a teeming horde of 85,811 in attendance, wagering over $13 million; all-sources handle in the neighborhood of a gazillion dollars, or something like that.

All this Belmont excitement! And Lone Star Park sends out its press release that very evening:

ELI YOUNG BAND CONCERT SMASHES ATTENDANCE RECORD 

26,519 On Hand Friday Night Is Largest Post-Race Concert Ever

What?!?

Nothing about the Belmont Stakes??  Union Rags??? Even some kind of little, impromptu Triple Crown fiesta on the patio???

Well, if I wasn't discouraged enough with the state of horse racing at Lone Star Park, I only had to crack open my Sunday morning edition of the Star-Telegram (motto:  "Leading the industry in printing corrections!"). Directly above the Belmont Stakes recap was a short article of how I'll Have Another's scratch took a toll on the local racetrack's attendance; they were anticipating a crowd approaching 20,000.  Instead, attendance was a 10,586.  And then, in a quote that can cause serious heartburn for the avid horse racing fan, Vice President and Assistant General Manager of Lone Star Park, G.W. Hail says,

"Who needs I'll Have Another when you have Eli Young?"

That's enough to discard my morning coffee and reach for the vodka!

Well, I could very easily go off on a rant and tirade about a some dumb obtuse remark - menopausal women are very good at doing that.  However, I shall just stick to a few numbers.

Racetracks are usually in the business of racing horses.  Horses race for money.  Money is funded by handle.  26,519 people showed up for the Eli Young Band concert and the on-track handle was $332,835.  Belmont Stakes Saturday's attendance was 10,586 with a on-track handle of $477,635.  Without the use of pie charts, calculators, or any other kind of visual aid, I can reach a simple conclusion:  Concert goers do not bet.  They do not contribute to handle.  However, they contribute to excessive alcohol consumption and a trashed parking lot.  Horses are not impressed.

Look, I understand that Global Gaming is in the "entertainment business" and they are very successful using the facility as a concert venue.  That's not a bad thing.  What's bad is being negligent and indifferent to the very reason the racetrack is even in business.

Scratched

I'll Have Another
Dreams of the Triple Crown dashed
by tendonitis

Two Degrees of Separation from Secretariat

It’s been a year or two since Affirmed last captured the Triple Crown in 1978. And now I’ll Have Another, with the Kentucky Derby and Preakness jewels already stashed in his saddlebag, is attempting to become the 12th Triple Crown winner.

Coincidentally, Kate Chenery Tweedy, author of Secretariat’s Meadow and daughter of Penny Chenery, was in Fort Worth this weekend as a presenter at the AmerEquine Festival. Kate would be the hippie, older daughter for those of you at home following along with your Secretariat movie.

Anyway, Thursday night she held a book signing; an opportunity to meet an individual that had been closely associated with the great racehorse, Secretariat. Kate Chenery Tweedy is a genuinely fascinating and vivacious woman, willing to share her rich family history and anecdotes about growing up, and her familiarity with horse racing. She is truly lovely and I felt privileged to have almost touched history. Magical!

Okay, but you know that I didn’t drive all the way to Fort Worth and elbow my way into a crowd of people just to hear about Granddad Chenery and the wonderful Meadow. So, I asked about her mother’s comments that were recently published in Andrew Cohen’s article in The Atlantic,

“I don't know Mr. Reddam personally but I think he should be embarrassed that the trainer he has chosen does not have a clean record.” [Penny Chenery]

Kate, as she invited me to call her, laughed. “Oh, you know about that article, do you? Well,” she continued, “Mom’s ninety and she’s done playing politics.” Sorry, Doug. The Grand Dame of Racing is speaking her mind - racing is not as clean as it once was; too many issues with drugs as opposed to Mama Chenery’s Old School Racing.

However, everybody in the book-signing vicinity all were genuinely excited about I’ll Have Another’s Triple Crown bid. A true champion! Unable to keep my mouth shut (as usual), I woefully lamented, “A great champion that runs straight into the breeders’ shed."  Kate grimaced and agreed; “champions” usually depart post haste from the racetrack to stud. But she admitted that she feared Secretariat may have been one of the first stallions to blaze the trail to direct stud duty. “Mom sold the breeding rights to a syndicate in order to pay the bills. The syndicate did, however, ‘allow’ her to race Secretariat for the rest of the year.”

Finally, I had to ask Kate’s opinion one last burning question: Did Diane Lane do a good job portraying Penny Chenery in the movie Secretariat? That question sent Kate into gales of laughter. “Oh, we love Diane Lane! She is so wonderful! But you have to remember that it was a Disney movie. Diane Lane portrayed Mother as a good, dutiful housewife. And I assure you, Mother was not much of a housewife! She should’ve been running a business.”

Nates Mineshaft Takes On Foodies

Lone Star Million Day!

WinStar Win [Up to] a Million Day featuring the $300,000 Lone Star Park Handicap (gr. 3), Food Truck Festival, and WinStar Million Man!

Okay, I didn't see the creepy WinStar Million Weirdo but I was privileged to watch Nates Mineshaft easily win the Lone Star Park Handicap by over 7 lengths.

After his last race - a disastrous 20-length trouncing in the Grade 2 Alysheba at Churchill Downs - Nates Mineshaft returned to his winning tactic: being on the lead.  Jockey Jesse Campbell sent him to the lead early, setting fractions of :25.11 for the opening quarter-mile, :49.20 at the half-mile, 1:11.97 for six furlongs; winning in hand in 1:42.91.

Nates Mineshaft in the paddock prior to Lone Star Handicap

Nates Mineshaft and jockey Jesse Campbell win Lone Star Park Handicap

Now I know what many of you are thinking: "Wow! Impressive!  I have no idea what the heck those numbers mean! But what about the Food Truck Festival?!?"

Food Truck Festival indeed!  The top food trucks in DFW were featured in this foodie extravaganza.  Who knew that food trucks were so popular?  It was like walking through some kind of reality show on the Food Network.

For years Memorial Day was billed as the richest day in Texas racing, Lone Star Million Day, with $1 million in stakes races.  The once spectacular race card is gone this year. But on the bright side, I heard that the sliders from Easy Slider were pretty tasty.

Vote YES! to Dollar Day

Okay, my Lone Star Park brethren.  You have griped and whined and complained long enough about Lone Star Park carelessly discarding your favorite promotion:  Dollar Day.  Well, this is your chance to let your voice of discontent be heard and make it happen!  They are currently running a brief campaign over the weekend to hear your voice about the subject.  And if you are loud and persistent, you could mark June 16th as Dollar Day!

Vote on-line at Lone Star Park's facebook page and/or be sure to stuff the ballot box at the track.  Voting ends at 3 p.m. today.

Derby Coverage in the Newspaper Suffers from a Bad Hangover

2012 Kentucky Derby Winner: I'll Have Another

 Fort Worth Star-Telegram Copy Editors: We Had Too Many

There's nothing quite like opening up your Sunday morning newspaper to read of all the Derby news and excitement from the previous day.  The Kentucky Derby is known as The Most Exciting Two Minutes In Sports:  The thunderous charge of horses as the gates spring open, the roar of the crowds, the cheers, the tears, the exultation and glory of crowning a new Derby Winner.

A sports event of this magnitude ended up relegated to page 10C of the Star-Telegram (motto:  "If it's happening in Fort Worth, it's news to us!") - behind the Mavs losing, the Rangers winning, and Yankees' Mariano Rivera tearing some ligament in some knee.  Regardless, the Derby feature article was by Beth Harris (AP).

However, when I went to review the chart I was stunned!  The Star-Telegram published last year's chart! (Click to enlarge)

Whoa!