Thursday, April 24, 2008

Seriously, This is a Horse Racing Blog

Recently, it has come to my attention that there are a few individuals who feel that this horse racing blog, Post Parade, is a little bit short on horses. Apparently, there are some feelings that this blog lacks intelligent, thought-provoking insight to the sport, as well as expert handicapping skills and tasty cocktail recipes. I assure all [four] of you [Dad, Chuck, Frederico, and that dude that keeps texting me from his cell phone] that my initial intentions of being a serious horse racing blogger were true. However, at some juncture in my blogging endeavor, it became a whole lot easier just to make stuff up. All the research - pedigree and trainer stats and time fractions and track bias and pace and whatever nonsense Frank Stronach is up to - became somewhat tedious. Let’s face it – it doesn’t require nearly the amount of time and effort to make it up. And it’s a lot more fun.

However, I do not wish to fail my fellow horse racing enthusiasts who are roaming the internet in search of pertinent information regarding the races, with the exception of Jessica Simpson information because, at this time, she’s generating a lot of traffic. So I shall make concerted strides to become more serious and provide more details and facts.

For example, when I see Steve Asmussen at Lone Star Park, most notably this Saturday for the Texas Mile (Gr. III) where he’ll be saddling Zanjero, Beta Capo, and probably Reporting for Duty in an effort to score the rare Steve-Asmussen-Trifecta, I will approach him with professional demeanor. I will inquire,“Regarding Pyro’s recent workout, he was not assigned an official time for his six furlong breeze, however your assistant, Scott Blasi, referred to it as ‘outstanding’. Would you care to elaborate about his workout? And was it satisfactory as he prepares for the Derby?” instead of, “The Smarty Jones bobblehead goes for about $50 on eBay. Do you think your bobblehead will fetch that much?”

I will also earnestly report factual information, such as “Behindatthebar earned $201,500 from his Coolmore Lexington Stakes (Gr. II) win, and now has $204,500 in graded earnings that he would be allowed entry into the Kentucky Derby field,” versus “I was going to bet on the Lexington but I ran into good friend, Stuart, who trapped me with a soliloquy that involved something about microbreweries, a Pick-3 at Aqueduct, Alan Garcia, and tourism in Nuuk, Greenland.”

Hopefully, readers will enjoy the new and improved fact-laden Post Parade. I shall strive to make this blog a serious source of horse racing information.

Okay, I made all that up.

3 comments:

applebys traveler said...

Steve Asmussen Bobbleheads on eBay are going for 19.95... that is, til he brings home a winner in the Derby

Anonymous said...

Brilliant!

dana said...

see... smart and funny!