Thursday, February 16, 2006

The Cries of Protest are Deafening ... well, maybe, kind of, okay , not really

I feel that it is my duty, as a pseudo-journalist-turf-writer-wannabe, to comment on the most recent and important issue to hit the horse racing industry since Toby "Spider-man" Maguire hosted the Eclipse Awards. And it is an issue that I'm sure that will serve as a lightning rod. I suspect "they" are organizing protests and marches in Deaf Smith County, Texas, in support of the voice of leadership ... the voice of sound reasoning and moral values ... the voice of "Save Our Animals!" ... the voice of Pamela Anderson!

As reported in the Blood-horse, according to the Associated Press,
Pamela Anderson is boycotting the Kentucky Derby. The 38-year-old actress, who is an animal rights activist, says her opposition to animal cruelty in all its forms means she can never go back to the famed horse race.
Apparently, she is part of PETA, not to mention a former Baywatch babe, and former wife of Motley Crue drummer, Tommy Lee, that would include some kind of so-called video out there on the internet, although, I myself, an upstanding member of the community, have not observed this so-called video.

What I find so distressing about this boycott is that I'm sure that many Yum! brand products will be burned in protest at various fraternity houses across the country. Empty Pizza Hut cartons and empty barrels of KFC will be tossed into the burning protest pyres on the first Saturday of May, with shouts of, "Pamela! You are the one! Whoohoo!"

PETA, schmeta. In my non-professional opinion, it is not an issue of "animal cruelty" at stake with the Yummy Kentucky Derby, but rather one of jealousy and envy. Bottom line - you have a horse that you want to win the most prestigious horse race in the world, and a truckload of money to boot; that horse will not be neglected nor mistreated in anyway. AND, in the future, the horse will make LOTS OF MONEY just having a lot of ... (ahem) sex, unless of course,the horse is Funny Cide. What's the going rate these days, anyway? Smarty Jones costs $100 G. Afleet Alex (who was 3rd in the Kentucky Derby) is $40 G. Who wouldn't be envious of that payroll for the aforementioned post-racing "business"?

But it should be noted, that as a member of PETA who is busy protesting horse racing, Pamela should probably protest really important stuff. Organizations that allow testing of silicone implants into animals to ensure the safety for human use, or testing on animals with hair-bleaching chemicals to ensure human use, or the American Kennel Club that allows whippets to run around JFK airport without the appropriate boarding passes, or at the very least, proper leashes.

According to the story, Churchill Downs spokesman, John Asher said that he regrets that Pamela Anderson will not be coming back to the big race. And that they would welcome her back, or something or other. My rebuttal to John Asher, "Do you really want to welcome her back? And if not, could I have her seat?"


QQ said...

Amen! And if Pam wants to protest, she should be picketing the USDA

Applebys Traveler said...

Ok, I'm in Waco today, still on this stupid mobile phone, picking out subtle differences between j,k, and l. It's worth reading, however...Pamela Anderson probably orders chocolate with her martini, the b****... likely to be a gin drinker too, while I8m at it...