Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Stewards to Review 'Objection'

It has come to my attention via emails, comments, anonymous notes left on the windshield of my car, and a billboard along Texas State Highway 198 outside of Gun Barrel City, that I made an incorrect and unqualified statement on a recent post, subsequently lending uncertainty to my credibility as a blogger.

Last week, Tote Board Brad vehemently objected to my “unqualified characterization of a martini as a cocktail made with vodka.”

Thus, I feel compelled to document my expertise in light of these allegations so as not to be deemed unscrupulous and misinformed, i.e., a dope. My grandmother lived to be 100, and resided in the Bay Area most of her life. In the last decade or so, she lived in a good, Catholic retirement home. It should be noted that good, Catholic retirement homes are run by good, Catholic nuns who generally do not like to see their good, Catholic residents liquored-up and dancing around with lampshades on their heads. Therefore, Happy Hour consisted of a choice between (a) a glass of wine, (b) one beer, or (c) a spoonful of Milk of Magnesia. However, for my grandmother, this was severely insufficient, thus she would take her walker and toddle across the busy boulevard to a little Chinese restaurant and drink her proper [gin] martinis. She did this for many, many years, until at the age of 98, when after her ‘Tini Time, she crossed the road, fell down, broke her arm and declared, “Hmm. Apparently I’m having some difficulty holding my liquor. I’d better switch to vodka martinis.”

So one can see that by the evidence presented here, although anecdotal and somewhat embellished if not completely made up, clearly provides sound basis regarding a certain libation.

4 comments:

Tote Board Brad said...

Perhaps the billboard, skywriters and professionally orchestrated hatchet-job ad campaign (I got the Swift Boat guys) were a bit much, but I wanted to make my point. NO BLOOD FOR VODKA! Gin, on the other hand, is worth fighting for, although not getting run over for. Thus, I do not begrudge Granny's switch and the stewards won’t give you days for the incident.

I do plan to give Movement a shot of Gin before her first race, though. She won’t be running in Indiana, and Gin has got to do a better job than vodka.

John said...

Sue, once again you have eloquently advocated the position of the vodka martini drinking minions.

Poor misguided Brad...if he had enjoyed a good watermelon martini (made with vodka) before he placed that ill-fated superfecta wager at Oaklawn Park the other day, he might have seen a better result.

Applebys Traveler said...

Loved it. I'm on my mobile, so making sentences with 9 tiny keys while drinking my scotch martini (1 part scotch, 1 part ice, no vermouth, hold the chocolate) is difficult.

John said...

Well Brad the jury is in.

So put down that bottle of Tanqueray, put your hands over your head and surrender peacefully. Further resistance is futile :-)