Shopping for a Derby Winner

Each year I say to myself, I’m not gonna do it.

No. No way. No how. Resist. It’s a sucker bet. No. No! My $2 can feed 10 Haitian children for a day. NO! I’m not going to place one single, silly wager!

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!

But like an early bird shopper camping out at Kohl’s the day after Thanksgiving, I can’t resist the bargains I discover in the first Kentucky Derby Futures Wager’s Pool, which opened yesterday.

"Oh lookee!" I squeal. "Old Fashioned has morning line odds of 10-1! If Old Fashioned continues to build on his successful 2-year-old campaign – especially his Remsen win, and if he is really ‘three or four lengths ahead of the curve’ as trainer Larry Jones has said, and if he remains injury-free and actually runs in the Derby 78 days from now, what’s the probability that I’ll see odds like that on Derby day? Ooo ... I’ll take it.”

Before you know it, I just bought a bright yellow shirt that I don’t need.


I look longingly at Pioneerof the Nile. 20-1. Gee, I liked his CashCall Futurity. And I like Bob Baffert. I can’t resist the temptation ...

Shoes. Hot-pink slingbacks. And they don’t match the shirt.

Silver City’s at 50-1. Wow! I’m a homer. Lots of Texas connections – trainer Bret Calhoun, owner Clarence Scharbauer. Plus Gary West has written about him and seems to like him. So what if Silver City hasn’t run past 6 ½ furlongs yet. And it’s only a couple of bucks anyway.

I now have a cute chartreuse skirt. It matches neither the shoes nor the shirt.

And finally, I’m unable to resist the sentimental wager of Stardom Bound (12-1). It’s completely frivolous and somewhat sexist. She’s yet to run against the boys and, at this writing, I can't remember her even being pointed towards the Derby. But the image of the filly standing amidst roses in the Winner's Circle offers perhaps a little redemption following Eight Belles' tragedy and the subsequent fallout.

Accessories.

Now all I’m missing is a Derby hat. Perhaps I’ll find that in the next futures pool.