Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Eclipse Awards

Last night was the highly anticipated Eclipse Awards. Although I made absolutely no effort to watch the award ceremony, I feared that perhaps the gala festival may suffer from a similar fate of other awards ceremonies due to the ongoing writer's strike, which may or may not, have a negative effect on the ratings on TVG or the Santa Anita Pick 6 carryover.

Announcer: Live from Beverly Hills! It’s the 37th Annual Eclipse Awards! Tonight’s presentation on TVG is brought to you by Aussie Polymers. Having trouble with your Cushion Track? Call Aussie Polymers! And by Nicorette. Be sure to bring along a package of Nicorette on your next trip to Churchill Downs. And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our first presenters, Yao Ming and Victor Espinoza!
Yao Ming: (haltingly) I love horse racing. I wanted to be a jockey when I was growing up in China.
Victor Espinoza: But you did not stop growing up, no? Ha-Ha. ¿Huh? ¿QuiĆ©n escribe este slop?
Yao Ming: You very funny for short guy.

However, according to reports, emcee Kenny Rice moved the award ceremony along in swift fractions. Apparently, the banquet ended 45 minutes earlier than expected thus allowing individuals ample time to participate in the Jess Jackson celebratory kegger in his suite.

Congratulations to 2007 Horse of the Year, Curlin, and his connections. It should also be noted that Curlin was also awarded the Eclipse Awards for 3-Year-Old Male, Most Likely to Succeed, Handsomest, and Class Clown. Congratulations also goes to all of the other Eclipse winners. Full coverage of the event can be gleaned from Jennifer at Down The Stretch, who after a 7 week hiatus, rediscovered her keyboard. And we're glad.

1 comment:

JLDecker said...

^-^ Thanks for the plug. Although I must say, your post was much funnier.

As for the impromptu hiatus... the only excuse I can offer is the following complex mathematical equation:

(Retail x2) + Holidays / Primary Drive Meltdown = Ultimate Cosmic Pain