Last night, I remarked to my husband that I needed to do a little research on Ethel Merman for my next blog entry.
Husband: Ethel Merman? Isn't she a swimmer?
Me: No, you're thinking of Esther Williams. She was the swimmer.
Husband: Ethel Merman wasn't a swimmer?
Husband: So what does swimming have to do with horse racing?
Me: I'm not writing about swimming and horse racing. I'm writing about Ethel Merman. I'm thinking that there must be some kind of humorous angle ... horse racing and Ethel Merman.
Husband: The swimmer?
Me: She's not the swimmer. Ethel Merman sang, "There's No Business Like Show Business." And Nobiz Like Shobiz won the Holy Bull.
Husband: So why don't you write about Leo X?
Me: Leo X?
Husband: He was the pope that issued the Holy Bull. You could write about Catholicism and horse racing.
Me: What does that have to do with Ethel Merman?
It was at that point in our conversation that I deemed that my husband as being clinically useless.
Yes, Nobiz Like Shobiz won the Holy Bull (gr. III) at Gulfstream Park on Saturday. And he looks to be sitting on top of the leaderboard for Derby contenders. Many horseplayers and handicappers were impressed the first time he ran, breaking his maiden at Belmont and winning by 412 lengths. I'm pretty sure that Professor West had him pegged as a serious Triple Crown threat when Nobiz Like Shobiz was loaded in the gate prior to that race. It's unsure by this writer as to whether the Professor appreciates the talent of Ethel Merman. Or Esther Williams, for that matter.
And speaking of Nobiz, T.J. Simers of the LA Times (registration required) has nobiz calling himself a sports columnist. His column published on January 30th was a less than flattering "tribute" to Barbaro, racing fans, animal lovers, and squirrels. A second column ensued the next day with a wealth of supportive emails; Simers spent an entire column toasting himself as if he were a genius, of which, by the way, he is not. It was not until February 4th that his column included the emails that denounced him as a sports writer and a human being in general. Descriptive words such as "despicable" and "heartless bastard" and "sportswriter hell" were peppered throughout various email responses. John of Not To The Swift fame, who is a bonafide genius, wrote a very thoughtful and eloquent blog entry about Simers' opinions. My personal thoughts regarding Mr. Simers is that upon his death, he can donate his body to plastination and then Gunther von Hagens can create a sculpture that has its head inserted into a particular part of its anatomy, entitled Jerk.
Helpful Links: Esther Williams, Leo X, Plastination, Jerk