Searching for the Baywatch Star in Troubled Times

The tears for Barbaro have all been shed, and now people around the world anxiously await each daily report on the colt's condition. It's been more than a week since Barbaro's horrific injury in the Preakness Stakes (gr. I), which set off an outpouring of emotion on a national scale never before seen in Thoroughbred racing. [Bloodhorse.com]

Geez, that was going to be my opening line for this column but Genius Steve Haskin beat me to it.

It's been on many minds. So much so, that fellow bloggers, Ruben-Jerry-Bailey at Average Horse Player, and good pal, Patrick, required a mourning period of over a week before they were able to post all their usual helpful insights, tips, stories and general B.S. that I rely on so heavily. And happily, we are all recovering okay, even Barbaro, who has been upgraded to a 51% chance of recovery. Okay, not great but at least better.

The posts, stories, tales, equine veterinarian information, haikus, and coffee-house bongo poetry have been in the forefront. Who was it that won the Preakness, anyway? Bernard Somebody???

However, there is one voice that has not been heard. A powerful and forceful voice that is absent at this time. A voice that can be heard above all others when it comes to the treatment of racehorses. A voice that cries out in the wilderness, "I WILL NOT GO TO THE KENTUCKY DERBY BECAUSE IT IS INHUMANE TO ANIMALS!"

That voice is Pamela Anderson.

Surely, over the past ten days, Pamela Anderson would have said something about Barbaro. Something about how inhumane it is to have a horse leave a pasture. Something about how inhumane it is to saddle a horse and place a live human being weighing roughly the amount of her left breast onto its backside. Something about actually making a horse run. Something about the possibility of an injury to a living and breathing being.

Yet, she has remained alarmingly silent.

If you remember, which comprises of roughly 8 people, including Alex who lives across the street and has spent way too much time watching the Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee video on the internet, Pamela Anderson created a big stir (murmur??) when she announced that she would be boycotting the Kentucky Derby presented by Yum! brands because horse racing, in general, is not nice to horses, or something like that. Well, it is definitely apparent that she did not watch the Derby nor does she know the outcome because I'm pretty sure that she has no clue who Barbaro is.

DRF Scoop-Boy: Pam! Pam! What do you think about Barbaro breaking down? And how will this affect PETA's campaign to end horse racing in America?
Pam: Oooh. First of all, I think that we should drive German cars, like Mercedes and BMWs. Much more dependable. Those Italian cars are just too unreliable, unless of course, it's the Pope-mobile. You know, we have to use some kind of gas-guzzling, reliable cars when we drive from Manhattan to Halifax to protest the hunting of baby seals.

I scoured the internet for any information that Pamela Anderson might bestow to us. A quote. A soundbite. Anything. I even went to www.pamelaanderson.com (type it in folks, I'm not giving you that link!) and all that I could glean from there was protests against KFC. Inhumane treatment of chickens. Set the chickens free. And the coup de grace, a link to a story about some giant disabled "chicken", which may or may not have been a thoroughbred in a chicken suit, protesting in front of a local KFC in Spokane.

Maybe it's just as well that Ms. Anderson knows nothing and says nothing. Edgar Prado said it best about Barbaro,

"He's an intelligent horse. He knew he was hurt and he knew what he wanted -- he wanted to survive. ... He's a very special horse. It goes to show you that in America, everything is possible. The technology here is superior to so many other countries. You have a better chance to survive any kind of injury or illness here than you do anywhere else. I'm glad he's getting ... a chance to survive.

"Of all the tears I have cried, if tears could heal a wound, Barbaro would be healed by now."

Note to Pamela Anderson: Thank you for remaining silent. Therefore, in your honor, tomorrow night I will eat a salad.