Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Reflecting on the Triple Crown

Big Brown did not win the Belmont. And there has been a deluge of information, misinformation, and opinions as to why the colt failed to capture the Triple Crown: He didn’t like the dirt in his face; he didn’t like Belmont’s surface; his quarter-crack was bothering him; the jockey gave him a bad ride; Dutrow is jerk; Dutrow is a classless jerk; Dutrow is a paunchy, classless jerk who could really use an extra dose of antiperspirant on hot afternoons at Belmont Park.

However, after spending many hours conducting thorough research – and remember, I’m a professional – by pouring over the plethora of information available, I was finally able to conclude with complete confidence that the blame lies squarely on Kent Desormeaux.

I have reconstructed the scenario as follows: Prior to the Belmont Stakes, Kent Desormeaux had to go to the bathroom, however the lines to use operational bathroom facilities approached 30 minutes, and since he was unable, as well as unwilling, to get out of line, he had his cousin, Mort, who is actually a baggage handler at Newark, step in and ride Big Brown for him. Therefore, Kent Desormeaux should be banned from going to the bathroom for at least two weeks.

Anyway, it seems to me throughout this whole Triple Crown odyssey, there was so much skepticism and questions circulating around Big Brown – medications, steroids, trainer, owners, quality of the competition, Hooters – that the horse lacked complete, unabashed, and unconditional adoration from everything and everyone associated with racing save Michelle The Exercise Rider. C’mon, take a good look at the cover of the Daily Racing Form’s Belmont Stakes edition: renowned artist Peb Bellocq’s caricature of Big Brown looks like some kind of freak horse hopped up on steroids. Even tall and hunky Terry on Monmouth Park Blog proclaimed he was "glad Big Brown lost."

So, for all those Triple Crown maniacs who have spent sleepless nights immersing themselves into the Nirvana of Horse Racing, including multiple Road to the Roses virtual stables, office pools, side wagers with their parish priests, etc., there's always next year.

And perhaps I’ve already seen the sign …

On Saturday, Steve Asmussen sent out a small platoon of 2-year-olds for the Texas Thoroughbred Association Sales Futurities at Lone Star Park. The winner of the colts-and-geldings division was Lyin’ Heart (Lion Heart), who after a rough start, rallied to win by 3 ½ lengths, earning an 89 Beyer Speed Figure in the process. According to Mary Rampellini of DRF, Steve Asmussen is looking to run in him the Bashford Manor (Gr. III) at Churchill Downs on July 5.

Maybe that will be a name in your virtual stable next year??

2 comments:

Handride said...

why do the rest of us either bother speculating, thank god we have a professional in our midst. ;-D

Big Brother said...

Okay, maybe I was a little bit surprised by Big Brown loafing in...well...last (Clarification: I know nothing of horse racing other than winning twelve dollars at Lone Star). But it was pretty hot on Sunday. Hey, I tried to mow my lawn before the Belmont and had to stop. So half of my lawn looks like the fairways at Torre Pines while the rest of it looks like the Serengeti.

In hindsight, I should have put my money on a former NBA player.